“What I Wish I’d Known.” Real Women Share Advice For Women Going Through Divorce.

Advice for women going through divorce. What real women wish they’d known before their own divorce.

divorce advice for women

Experts can tell you all day what you should do during your divorce. What you should expect, how to react, but no one is more of an expert on divorce than a woman who’s been through it. A woman who’d made it through the other side and lived to tell about it.

Who better to let you know some of the challenges you’ll face than another woman who’s been there first?

I wanted to tap into the wisdom that so many women have for others. So, I asked women on the Round and Round Rosie Facebook page to share their own hard won wisdom. I asked what they wish they’d known about divorce before their own divorce began. What they wished they’d been more prepared for.

Here, in their own words, are the truths about divorce and the wisdom they had known from women who’ve been in your shoes.

advice for women going through divorce

advice for women going through divorce

advice for women going through divorce

advice for women going through divorce

Advice for Women Going Through Divorce, Real Women Share What They Wish They'd Known.

advice for women going through divorce. women share what they wish they'd known.

divorce advice, advice for women going through divorce
advice for women going through divorce

 divorce advice for women

divorce advice for women

divorce advice for a woman

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Their advice varies greatly. Each woman found the best path for her own situation.

Like these women I found my own way through my divorce. After going through my own divorce for over six years, I learned a lot. In case you need more help getting through divorce. Here are six things I wish I’d known before filing, and habits that will help make you happier while going through your divorce, and a list of many legal terms you’ll need to know when you go to court or review paperwork from your attorney.

I so appreciate these strong role models for sharing their own experience going through divorce. These fierce survivors are a daily inspiration. I hope that you can take their wisdom to heart in your own divorce process.

What have you learned in your own divorce that you wish you’d known beforehand?


    • says

      You certainly understand that suddenly alone and single feeling all too well Rebecca! I can’t imagine how challenging your journey has been.

    • LISA says

      It will be two years February 15 2017 that my husband left me for another woman after 24 yrs of marriage. I am being forced out of the home he bought for us and hasn’t paid in a year. Still going through legal issues.
      It’s so hard I cry almost every day. These post help I just hope one day I will find true love again and be happy.

      • says

        Stay strong, it sounds like you are in a very difficult place right now but know that it WILL get better, you will persevere and you WILL find love again. You will rebuild your life again and make it happen. Crying is a part of the healing process. I cried so much that I took to always having dark sunglasses with me so that I could hide the tears. Hugs to you my friend, you can do it!

      • Kai says

        The same thing happened to me. Stay strong, pray every day for strength and guidance. If it’s one thing I know to be true it is that Karma never looses an address.

        • says

          How funny this year so many divorced couples and I learned to stay strong no matter what I wasn’t going to be defeated. Although I did pray and forgive but he didn’t want it period I even made live to him twice thought he would give me chance nothing I actualuhad to tell him if you so want the divorce than why is it taking so long to make me sign, his dumb ass excuse he didn’t want to ruin my Christmas! Are you kidding me get me the papers I want out ASAP and I did. Driove straight to his job sign and left. All I said have a good day at work. Yes I cried went to get money and got a tattoo. Felt much better now it will be sign seal deliver 2018 here I come.

    • Heidi says

      Agree Rebecca. It’s been 7 years and when people assume because of my age I’m divorced and then I say no I’m a widow, they don’t know how to talk to me anymore. It took a bit but, I love being single now and being an independent strong woman.

      • says

        I accepted Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior to get me through my divorce if I didn’t I would have beat the crap out of her but, the lord said no. Why?
        Because I have class I have dignity and besides the people that was hurt they wanted me to beat her but, my thoughts she was ugly inside and out I mean literally and so was my husband our friends did not have reps for him and the OW she was nothing to talk about just ordinary! Praise the Lord I do not leave with stupidity. I could never handle that especially my husband is and atheist who is he fooling going to church they both can have each other! I am moving The Lord has plans for me!

  1. says

    Going through a divorce is tough on everyone, and I hope I don’t experience it as an adult. It is lovely to read different comments to know that it is different for everyone and people cope in different ways. Lovely for people to be able to try and relate.

    • says

      Carol, yes the kids being in the middle of the craziness is one of the hardest parts. They didn’t want it or ask for it but they take the burden of the stress.

  2. says

    Divorce is one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through in my life. One thing I wasn’t prepared for was how our mutual friends picked ‘sides.’ It is like adjusting to a death, even if you know it is for the best. There is the death of a dream and it takes a long time to recover. Good luck, Rosie. It does get better but is never easy.
    Molly STevens recently posted…How to make sensational meals and save moneyMy Profile

    • says

      Molly I so appreciate you reaching out. It is much more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Losing friends who must choose sides is heartbreaking. I appreciate your comments. We get so much more resilient and strong through all of this!

  3. Trudie says

    I stayed with friends those first few days after I left. They were not my closest friends which made it so much easier as we didn’t discuss my situation much. Would not have survived on my own.

  4. GRR says

    I left after 16 years of marriage; took nothing and had nothing except my car and $100.
    Was the most stark and brutul time of my life, where no words or actions could heal me. Only time and rediscovering myself in my way has worked. Everyone has opinions, no one has your answer except you.

    • B says

      How did you do it with 100?
      I need to but literally have nothing, nowhere and nobody.
      Would love to hear how you did it.

  5. says

    I was married 21 yrs. I was devastated when I learned that my husband was having an affair, which ended our marriage. I left and took nothing but a weeks worth of clothing. He remarried right away to someone around our sons age & raising another child. He got tattoos, a motorcycle and gain about 80lbs. He still an angry person toward me even though he ended the marriage. The stronger and happier I become, he hates it. I stayed single for 7 years. The hardest part was dealing with loneliness. Finding myself was difficult after have given so much of myself to my ex and raising children. It’s been 8 yrs now, I’m stronger and found some of my passions again. My children are married now and are still affected by the divorce though and that is sad. Their father doesn’t have much of a relationship with them or our grandchildren. If I would have known about and joined Alanon group I would have made quicker gains in healing myself. Some people think Alanon is for people who lived with or known an alcoholic or had an addiction. That’s not so…..Alanon is a group that helps a person to become individually strong and to know peace. Alanon helped me… to know I’m ok with who I am.

    • says

      Bravo to you for finding yourself again. How strange that your ex still has such anger towards you, it sounds like he isn’t really happy in this new life that he created for himself and is probably jealous that you’ve found happiness. I’m so glad that you shared the resource of Alanon, I’ve known others who have joined the program due to an unstable childhood and have found a lot of peace and tools to deal with life in a more proactive way. The loneliness can be tough, I too found it hard to handle, but I slowly realized that I could learn to live alone and not be lonely by reconnecting with things I liked to do and reestablishing friendships. I know that your comments and story will help other women as they see that you’ve rebuild your life.

  6. Tracey says

    It’s been 4 years divorced and 6 seperated..single mom two boys left for coworker. He hardly sees boys..we were together 16 years. He had a baby with the other woman and remarried. He’s not all the money and free time and secure future. I’m 24/7 putting boys first..they are my life. I still cry and feels like yesterday he left. I don’t know how you get over the heartbreak and loss of so much for your children. I still live my life and get by ..I wish I knew how others get over it.

    • says

      Was married for 20 yrs and he cheated with his best (or should I say ex )friend’s wife. A double betrayal to say the least-she was like a second mom to my kids and supposedly my best friend. The only thing I knew for sure is I would have never left him and God gave me a beautiful gift- a second chance in life to learn to love myself and how precious my
      kids really are. Was raised with the idea that the man is always first and you are second. My gift was wrapping a very ugly package and it took years for me to realize that he decided to leave and I made my decision to stay and keep living my life the best I could. I’m so thankful that I had the relationship with my kids still-my ex still has no idea what he gave up . I’m glad I found out what really mattered before I let it slip away.

  7. says

    I’m the third wife, how stupid can you be right? My daughter isn’t his and I had hoped her would be a good dad. I asked him to move out because he wouldn’t do any work around the house, help me with my daughter ( only father she has ever known) or help pay any bills. I helped him pay off his debts to his ex wife, bailed him out of jail and got him an attorney over 8,000.00.
    He makes it sound like I’m crazy but I’m not
    I am older and have always been alone now I want him back because I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want my child to feel the crappy sting of not having a dad in the house. I feel stupid but it was so nice having a husband not being a loser single mom who can’t keep a man. He says I’m it but he will find someone and I will still be alone.
    Luckily I have my own money and am financially comfortable which was one of our problems he was jealous I am doing better than him.

  8. says

    Really great advice deftly captured in sound bites! I initiated my divorce and would have had to pay my deadbeat husband alimony. Once he remarried, then i sued for child support. Oddly we agreed on raising our two daughters and he defended my wishes against his wife many times. The worst part of the divorce was the shock from his mother and sisters and other members of his family. Long story, but I didn’t five a F**k. My daughters are successful adults who were raised by an independent woman 🙂

  9. says

    I want to know what to do when your husband of 30 years won’t talk to you. He will talk about other things, he’s even kind and helpful. We have been separated for 6 years. I told him I didnt want separation or divorce, if he wants one he’s going to have to take the initiative and go talk to a lawyer to get this over with. I can’t move on, and I won’t break my vows. I feel like he’s the one that started this, and he can be the one to end it. All I want is to discuss where and when things started falling apart for him. I want to learn from this situation, but it’s really difficult when you are the only one that cares.

    • Grace says

      I am so sorry to hear your story. Time heals everything. In the mean time seek counseling for yourself, go out with friends, take a vacation, read, pray, and exercise. I was not married as long as you were, but I knew him for 40 years. Wishing you all the best.

  10. Marci says

    I am currently in the midst of what I can say is close to being on a roller coaster, and it’s scary and also on fire and don’t know when it’s going to end. You know that part of the divorce where you still live together and neither can leave. The house full of such toxic energy you can feel it in your soul. I’m stuck, trapped. All I worry about is my sweet amazing children. I was feeling the walls caving in tonight. Reading this has been so helpful and empowering. This is not forever. My children and I will get through this. I am eternally grateful for posts like this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you 💕

    • Celina says


      I am in the same position. The divorce was my choice but now because we live in such an expensive city neither of us could move out. I want to stay in the house with the kids but it is also his house. He has told me that he refuses to leave no matter how it makes me feel. Its a lot of toxic energy but I know I made the right choice. The debilitating depression is what is hard to handle right now especially when trying to be with the kids. We need to support each other. I know things will get better with time. Its better to be out of a long toxic relationship than to continue to be in one because it is easier than splitting up. Any more tips will be helpful.

  11. Lynelle says

    By the grace, love and great mercy of God, I am content, experiencing the peace and joy that only comes from our Father. I was married for 25 years, mother of twin girls and an elementary teacher. It’s been three years since my divorce and even though I do get lonely … I surrendered my life, everything … that is thinking I was in control. He is my all and I am now experiencing true freedom when I turn each day, each moment over to God. Celebrate Recovery, Divorce Care.com and 13 week group, Bible Studies (always thought that it was for those nice ladies that prayed for teachers once a month), Christian concerts, Christian radio and TV, praying, thanking and surrendering each day … has truly changed my life. I don’t know what the future holds but am rest in the confidence that He does and is more than able. I now choose to be victorious, living in the positives, instead of being the victim. God is Good. Blessings to all!

  12. Hannah says

    I’ve been in a emotionally neglectful marriage for almost 9 years. My husband and I decided after years and years or unhappiness we are going to file. We have two beautiful children and want to make it as easy as possible on them. My husband and I still live together and explain to the kids why daddy is sleeping in the basement. We also agreed to continue counseling two days a week even after everything is finalized. Sometimes I still feel like fighting even tho in my heart I know it’s over. Is it possible to rekindle feelings after being hateful for so many years? I’m so sad to think about what the aftermath of this will do to my children. The thing is, I don’t hate my husband. He doesn’t hate me. We are just not in love anymore and neither of us are willing to learn and accept their love language. I wish there was a magic ball to help me through this.

  13. Jen Altrogge says

    Very good posts.
    It hard to face divorce sometimes. But what is done is gone , we should move forward .
    You’ve inherited a gorgeous Tiffany broach. You love the person that wore it… but you’d never pin it on. Or maybe you’re newly divorced. What’s done is done, and you don’t want that karma following you around. Why not convert its value into cash to meet your evolving needs. So, go to https://truval.com/ if you want to sell your jewelry.

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