You know how they say that every cloud has a silver lining? If that big dark cloud raining all over you is a divorce, then yes, there is a silver lining.
In short, divorce sucks, got it. What you might not know? After this life shaking, ass rocking event , you are going to come away with gems of wisdom that will genuinely transform you at your core. They will profoundly change how you look at yourself and the world.
In no particular order, here they are.
1. Stuff doesn’t matter.
I’ve moved more times than I can count since my divorce. I hauled most of my stuff out in green garbage bags and stuffed into the trunk of my car. Trinkets, collectibles, all that stuff we accumulate really doesn’t matter. Wedding china? How many times have you used it? Divorce and moving made me realize that when it comes down to it, we are not our stuff.
2. Real friends will listen more than they talk.
You might have lots of people you consider friends in your life, but once you’re mid divorce, you will quickly come to realize those people that you can count on. You can spot a real friend by how they respond to you. I found that real friends didn’t ask too many questions. They don’t pry. Real friends seemed to instinctively know that I needed someone to listen as I worked things out, vented, or just needed to cry. No lectures. Know you’ve found a real friend when they are willing to just listen.
3. You are so much stronger than you realize.
You feel fragile and breakable but you can handle more than you ever imagined. Why? Because, if you’ve got kids, you have no choice but to keep on going. One of my favorite quotes is Winston Churchill, “the only way to get through hell, is to keep going.” Hell and divorce are pretty similar. Sometimes you just have to keep marching. You’ll be scared, lonely, sad, panicked. You’ll feel it all. Just keep marching. You can do this.
4. Tomorrow is another day.
Some days you’ll think that it won’t end. It will. You’ll go to sleep, wake up, and things won’t be as bleak. Trust me. The bad stuff has an ending point. Eventually paperwork will be filed. You’ll go to court. It will be over and you’ll be moving on with setting yourself on your new course and new life.
5. Not everyone will come with you.
Divorce gives you clarity in your life. There were people in my life who didn’t make the journey with me. Relationships that just didn’t seem worth my limited time and my very stretched and raw emotions. That’a good thing. Sometimes you have to be in this very real, honest place to access your life. Some people just don’t make the cut.
What life changing lessons did your breakup teach you?