Should you change your last name after divorce? Deciding which last name to use isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.
Should you change your family name after your divorce is final?
When I got married, I took my husband’s name just like so many women do.
I thought that once divorced, it would be easy to go right back to my maiden name. But now I’m not so sure. There is a problem. I have a child. If I go back to my maiden name, we will have different last names. I’m not really concerned about what others think, I’m just worried about what she thinks.
Will she feel distant from me?
Will she feel abandoned?
Will she even care?
I always imagined I’d go back to my maiden name. It feels like me. Do I have to keep this last name that isn’t really even mine? Do I walk around this planet with a last name that isn’t an accurate label of me just so I don’t upset my child? (Not sure how much to tell your child about your divorce? Here’s my post on how much info to give your child about your divorce.)
And even if she cares about my name now, will she really care in a month? In a year? Not to mention that no one else I share this last name with will speak to me. That certainly makes me want to shed it. (They probably can’t wait for me to change my name either!)
Going back to my maiden name just feels really right. In so much of my divorce, I’ve struggled to rediscover me. The me that I let slip away. Part of restoring me is to restore my name.
How do other women handle this?
Jackie Pilossoph from divorcedgirlsmiling.com went back to her maiden name as a connection to my father. (I can relate. My father died several years ago and having his last name as mine would make me feel closer to him.)
Mandy Walker of SinceMyDivorce.com went back to her maiden name after discussing it with her kids.
I’m still not sure exactly what I’ll do about my last name yet. And at the pace of my divorce (5 years and counting!) I probably have a while left to think about it. I don’t think there is a wrong answer.
Keep your married name, go back to your maiden name; the best decision is the one that you are comfortable with every time you have to sign your name.
Are you keeping your name or changing it? Will you use your maiden name or something totally new?
Why did you make that choice? Join me on the Facebook group to discuss name changes and other real life divorce dilemmas. We can so relate! –Rosie