3 Surprising Reasons To Be Thankful for the Pain of Divorce.

It’s Thanksgiving. The time of year when we pause to remember and mark all the things in our life we are thankful for. But in this season of counting our blessings, can we actually count our divorce as one of them? Can we find be thankful for the pain of divorce?

In the chaos and uncertainty of divorce, we have something to be thankful for. The hard-won lessons we can learn. There are many gifts hidden inside that darkness if we can find the space to look for them objectively.

Here are 3 reasons to be thankful for your divorce.

1. Be thankful for the friends and family that your divorce can bring you closer to.

Often, a difficult situation brings people together. Divorce can bring you closer to and my friends and family members. Old arguments seem irrelevant. Friends who’ve been through divorce can relate to the stress you’re going through.

I was lucky to have several old friends who reached out during my divorce and we were able to rekindle a wonderful friendship.

Divorce can allow you to be completely authentic about your life, and in turn, others often open up too. I’ve reconnected with old friends and the bonds are even stronger because I’ve been so honest and raw about my train wreck of a life.

And I met new people. In real life and online.

I made friends who were in a similar place and bonded over shared concerns of kids, custody and navigating being newly single.

I made friends through my divorce blog, bonding over coffee with other bloggers and shared horror stories of divorce attorneys.

2. Be thankful to divorce for reminding you of your strength.

Divorce can reacquaint you with the incredibly strong, unshakeable woman inside.

As they say, steel is forged in fire. And so it is with ourselves. We don’t realize how strong we are until we are tested.

I used to think that I was weak. Only after soldiering on through divorce. Only after crying all night and wondering if I’d end up living out of the backseat of my Toyota Prius, did I understand the sheer force of my own determination.

Divorce can help you find your own steel.

3. Be thankful for the unexpected lessons.

Divorce can teach you so many lessons about yourself. Big and bold. Small but not insignificant.

You learn lessons you didn’t even know you needed to.

Speaking of lessons here’s advice from women on what they wish they’d known going into their own divorce.

I learned how to kill spiders in my daughter’s bedroom.

I learned how to put an IKEA bookcase together.

I learned how to hang curtain rods with my very own drill. (Yes, I left way too many holes in the wall on my way to actually drilling the right hole, but the curtains got hung so I’m counting it as a victory.) And here’s six tips I learned that might help you cope with your own divorce.

I learned how to enjoy sleeping in a bed all alone and not feeling lonely, only blessed.

Remember that song, Thank You by Alanis Morissette?  Now I can truly understand the thanks hidden in heartache and the honesty of her lyrics.

Alanis Morrisette, Thank You

How ’bout me not blaming you for everything
How ’bout me enjoying the moment for once
How ’bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How ’bout grieving it all one at a time

Thank you India, thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty, thank you consequence
Thank you, thank you, silence

Did you learn something about yourself?

Can you find a way to be thankful for the pain of divorce because of the what that pain can teach you?

I’ve learned during my divorce, that you can only see the lesson if you are brave enough to look through the sorrow and the sadness. You can only reach understanding if you are willing to wade through the pain.

Maybe this week especially, I hope that you can find reasons to be thankful for the pain of divorce and the lessons that pain and adversity can teach you.

Are you on Pinterest? If you enjoy my blog and my posts about divorce, check out my Pinterest board on Divorce where I’ve stashed a treasure trove of quotes inspiring reminders and articles about that topic.

Divorce Quotes and Wisdom-Pinterest

xoxo-Rosie

Tell me, what are you thankful for?