Since I’ve gotten separated, I’m on a self improvement binge. When I was married, I put off things I wanted to change about myself until “the time was right”.
Well, the time still isn’t right but I don’t want to end up unmarried, alone and looking like Camilla Parker Bowles.
But hey, she DID land a Prince, so maybe looking a bit horsey is a good thing.
So here are several long overdue projects on my self improvement list.
1. Crooked Teeth.
I never wore my retainers after I got my braces off as a teen, so Invisalign here I come. A little over a year to straight teeth. My stepmother was an angel and bought these for me for Christmas! Thank God ’cause these itty bitty plastic trays are expensive. I’ll let you know what I think about the whole Invisalign thing.
2. While we’re on the teeth.
A friend’s ten year old recently looked at me and remarked: “Your teeth are beige!” Umm, thanks you little shit. So now on top of Invisalign, I’ll need to do some Zoom whitening or at the very least a few rounds of Crest Whitestrips. (I could give up coffee, tea and red wine but then life wouldn’t be worth living so screw that.) After Invisalign I’ll be looking for ways to de-beige my teeth.
3. The Skin Formerly Known As Pale.
What used to be just pale skin is now pale skin accessorized with adorable brown spots. I use sunscreen every single day but that can’t make up for all those childhood summers of baking and peeling.
I think I need to visit my favorite dermatologist for some love with the laser. Nothing is quite as much fun as smelling your own skin being singed.
Note to everyone out there. Sunscreen. Sunscreen. Sunscreen.
4. Losing the Middle.
I went through that whole too-upset-to-eat thing at the very beginning of my divorce. Sized 2 pants hung on me. It was dreamy. But now I’m back to my old ways again; foraging in the cupboards at all hours like a carb addicted baby hedgehog.
Ever wonder why they call it Middle Age? Because everything you eat goes to your Middle. I’m now shaped less like an hourglass and more like an overripe Chiquita banana. Tasty.
So, last but not least on my list of Self Improvement is to lose a little middle from this middle aged body. I already work out so I’m going to have to figure out a way to stop the maniacal munching.
I’ll be posting the progress of the projects on my Self Improvement list as I go. And if I do find a cheaper or easier home options, I’ll most definitely share.
In the meantime, what’s on your self improvement list? I wanna know!
xoxo-Rosie