I’m sure you’ve heard that derogatory term, the helicopter parent. And I’m sure you’ve read how horrible and damaging it is to be a helicopter parent but frankly, I don’t much care. I’m embracing and celebrating my hovering, helicoptering ways. Why?
Because so far, it’s working. And as the saying goes, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
My daughter loves her parents, enjoys schools, is inquisitive, thoughtful and kind, volunteers, learns languages, says Please and Thank You and is whip smart. So you can kiss my hovering ass if you think I’m not doing it right.
So you can kiss my hovering ass if you think I’m over protective.
There’s free range parenting”? No thank you; she’s a child, not a chicken.
There’s the “Call me when you get arrested” parenting style. (Also known as, don’t call while Judge Judy’s on.)
Then there’s old school Seventies Mom parenting. You know, the cool mom. I could channel my mom, smoking pot in the living room with me, dating my boyfriends, and suggesting I drop out at sixteen.
NO THANK YOU.
So that leaves me with my choice. Helicoptering my daughter’s into adulthood, not such a bad choice if you think of the alternatives.
She knows I’m nearby if she needs me. She knows I’ll be there for her. She knows she’s cared for, valued and loved. Is that such a bad way for a child to grow up?
Yes, I could be more lenient and let her walk home alone, or roam around the neighborhood till dark. But people this is 2017, I live in Los Angeles, and I watch the news people. I don’t let my dogs out after dark alone so why would I trust this often f’d up world with my child.
Maybe once she’s 16, I’ll change my mind and loosen up, but until then, I’ll be driving her to school events. Checking in with her on her phone. And keeping tabs on her.
Paranoid? Overprotective? Absolutely. But my job is to deliver her to adulthood as best as I can. And if that means via helicoptering, let the hovering begin.
And if that means dropping her off by helicopter, let the hovering begin.
Are you a helicopter parent too? Would love to hear how you’re choosing to parent.
View Comments (6)
I've been struggling with this issue...unsure if I'm too much of "mom" to my youngest son who just turned 18. Now that he's 18 and knows everything I do give him more room to just be himself...even if that means dying his hair a funky red or just staying out later with friends...etc. The good thing is, having been a single mom for the past five years, we have this unspoken bond going on. He may be out later than I'd like but he's staying out of trouble and has no problem checking in and letting me know he's safe. My son tells me more than I want to know sometimes but we communicate well. Those little things mean a lot!! Yes, I make it a point to know what's going on in my son's life. No apology necessary!!
I think helicopter parenting gets a bad rap. Like you said, in the world we live in today, it's better to know exactly what our kids are doing. Anyway, at the end of the day, it's no one else's business how you decide to parent your own kids. We need to mind our own business and stop judging others!
I LOVE THIS!!! Amen! I'm so tired of people complaining about me doing my job. And doing it well! My kids won't be asking me to come to college to take them to the bathroom. What they complain about with kids in college today -- where they can't handle consequences doesn't have to do with helicopter parenting.. It has to do with entitled brats whose parents have given them everything and don't teach them there are consequences to their actions. Ironically, I see that ALL the time with my friends' free range kids. Yes, I know where my kids are. Yes, I spend time working on their homework with them (to TEACH them since teachers can only do so much), and yes I am going to be cautious since legally I am responsible for everything they do until they are 18. So they will learn to do the right thing. And, BTW, free range parents don't care if we end up having to deal with their bullying, poorly behaved kids on the playgrounds. How about watching your kids and TEACHING them how to treat other human beings??? Thanks again for this post!
So glad you liked it, and so glad to meet another parent on duty. If we get them to 18 well adjusted and well behaved we have done our job!!
What you described is not being a helicopter parent, it's called being a responsible parent. Helicopter parents have their fingers in everything the child is doing, to the point of not really letting the child "fail" in order to learn. They are the parent that over schedules and organizes their child's life so much that the child doesn't have the ability to think their own thoughts. They are the parent that over helps with homework and school projects and arguing children's grades for them (yes, even in college.) They are the parent who even moved to the town where their child is going to college. Helicopter parents produce smart students who can pass all the standardized tests. But they are usually not innovative or creative because they were never given the time to develop that part of themselves, instead, their playtime was being directed and organized by their hovering helicopter.
Our kids need our attention. I love it when somebody calls me a helicopter parent.