If you are a divorce attorney, please exit this post because all it will do is get you pissed off and hating me for telling the truth. Here’s why you don’t listen to your divorce attorney.
Now that all the “family law” attorneys have left the room, we can really talk. If you haven’t met with a divorce attorney yet, let me give you some advice. Don’t listen to them. Yes it seems insane to pay that much money to hire a divorce attorney and then not listen to them, but let me explain what I mean.
1. First of all, keep it short. It costs a lot to talk to them. So talk and engage with them as little as you freakin’ can. I think that my attorney charges me $500 to pick up the phone. $250 to read an email, and probably $50 to call me crazy under his breath. So unless you really, really have to get an answer on something, don’t contact them. They aren’t your friend, they aren’t there to make you “feel better”. Find a girlfriend who you can vent to, someone you can call when you need to scream, but don’t pay your divorce attorney to fill this role. Not a good use of your money. So think twice before you contact them. Keep all your emails and review them before you call your attorney. for clarification. All that legalese is difficult to understand, but try to find your own answers before you call them.
2. They probably don’t like you anyway. To divorce attorneys, you are a case to be solved. You aren’t a person. You are just one more whiny, unfortunate woman crying about her sad sack life. I always imagine my divorce attorney silently giving me the finger and rolling his eyes when I’m on a call with him. Am I the only one who feels like this?
3. Be Direct. Be brief. Divorce attorneys make you feel stupid. This is my first divorce. It’s all new to me but they’ve been doing it for years and probably have heard your silly little story thousands of times. To feel less flustered and to save your money, have notes on what points you want to cover with them before your call. Set the timer on your iphone so you don’t ramble. Remember, this is costing you. Tick tock.
4. Your attorney is there to advise you, not tell you what to do. They can offer you suggestions on possible strategies and next steps but you don’t have to take that advice. They aren’t running this divorce YOU ARE. You are the one who knows your ex-husband and your marital history. Listen to their advice. Take it into consideration, but in the end, YOU are in control. You are calling the shots. Make the decision about how you want these divorce proceedings to go. YOU know your life, marriage and situation better than some stranger in a blue suit with diplomas hanging on their wall. They work for you. So in the end, listen to yourself more than you listen to your divorce attorney. Remember you are paying THEM.
How do you communicate with your divorce attorney? What’s your experience been like?
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