Co-parenting at Christmas. Divorced moms share tips.

Tips for co-parenting at Christmas. Single moms share their best advice.

Co-parenting can be difficult at the best of times, add in the stress of the holidays and co-parenting at Christmas can make even the best moms lose it.

So how do you keep custody issues from ruining everyone’s holiday this year?

Well, I went straight to the experts. I polled the women on the Round and Round Rosie Facebook page asking single moms to share their best advice and here’s some of the real-world tips they shared on making a shared holiday work. And so, here are four of the best tips they shared.

(I also asked my readers the advice they wish they’d gotten before they went through a divorce. Here are the tips they wish they’d known about divorce.)

Single mom tips for sharing custody during holidays.

1. Make a plan and stick with it.

Work out the holiday schedule in advance so everyone knows what is happening. And once the schedule is decided, stick to it. No last minute changes.

Several moms chose to alternated years. (One year the ex had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The next year she did.)

Other moms recommended splitting the holiday the same way each year. 

As divorced mom Chrissy recommends–“He secured every Christmas Eve and I get Christmas Day. We alternate drop off times year by year. His family does stuff Christmas Eve. Mine does stuff Christmas Day so it works.”

2. Tell the kids the plan in advance. 

If your kids are younger, the holidays can throw them off their regular schedule (and a steady diet of  Christmas cookies and chocolate Santas doesn’t help either!) There will be fewer meltdowns if you help them understand the schedule. Hang up a calendar and let them check off the days until they are with their dad. Remind them verbally, “in two days you get to celebrate Christmas with Daddy!”

Empower teens by asking their opinion and giving them some control in the situation. Even if its a minor decision. “Would you rather your Dad pick you up at 1pm or 2pm on Christmas Eve?”

3. Let your child buy or make a gift for the other parent.

Help your child make or buy a gift for the other parent. It doesn’t have to be expensive. (As we all know, a gift made by our kids is one of the best gifts we can get.) You’ll be helping your child model good behavior and teach them about the power of giving to others.

4. And most importantly? Remember this is not about YOU or YOUR EX.

This might be the most difficult one to remember. Yes, your relationship with your spouse might be totally dysfunctional but Christmas is not the time to fight it out. Because Christmas is for our kids, not us the parents. 

As divorce mom Jodi puts it so well–

“Grow the hell up. Show respect for the other person. Ask about the other parent, help your child feel excited about seeing them. The holidays are not about what YOU want. It’s what’s best for the child, their feelings. I’ve been the child torn between parents, I’ve been the bonus mom and now going through it as a spouse.”

Yes. Christmas is stressful as a single parent, but try these simple tips for co-parenting at Christmas so that your kids are able to enjoy the holiday with both you and your former spouse.

And while you’re here check out my most popular post on how to find an awesome new life after your divorce. 

What’s your best advice for sharing custody during the holidays?

xo-Rosie