I’m so honored today to have Dr. Andra Brosh share her wisdom with us as our featured divorce expert. I started following her blog a while ago and always looked forward to her blog posts and the many words of wisdom and enlightenment that would pop into my email in box. Well, today she’s sharing some of that wisdom with us!
Dr. Andra Brosh is not only a top Los Angeles psychologist specializing in divorce and relationship recover, she also been divorced. She knows divorce not only from a professional perspective but also from the inside, from a personal perspective. As she so eloquently puts it: “While I have extensive training and experience as a therapist, what truly makes me good at what I do is what I have endured throughout my life.” She’s lived it, survived, thrived and can help us all learn important lessons in the struggles of our own divorce. She’s been featured in the Huffington Post, Purpose Fairy, Intent and Good Therapy.
5 Ways Divorce Makes You Better, by Divorce Expert, Dr. Andra Brosh, Ph.D.
There are so many ways that divorce makes life worse. You lose a partner, a lifestyle, time spent with your children, your money, your house, and even your health. From the moment you realize your marriage is over it’s a downhill slide of negativity and loss. There’s no question that you’ll find yourself on a slippery slope to bitterness and unhappiness if you can’t find a few hopeful and positive things to grasp on to through the transition. In times of distress and trauma the brain will organically hold on to the negative. Seeing the more optimistic side of things will not come naturally, but with a little focus and work you can learn to find balance as you ride the rollercoaster of divorce.
One truth about divorce, and any other challenging life transition is that it will make you more resilient. Tragic life circumstances can deepen your self-understanding and will actually make you a better person if you do the work to get there. Knowing the darker side of life, and truly learning that “shit happens” offers you a healthy dose of reality that many people never get to know. Believe it or not, living in a fantasy world with the illusion of safety and certainty is not only unrealistic, but quite boring.
I have chosen to wear my divorce status like a badge of honor. Surviving and actually thriving after divorce is something to be honored and valued in the same way you might feel after overcoming a grave diagnosis. I have always thought there should be a ribbon for divorce survivors or some other obvious marker that let’s one’s divorce status be known.
With that in mind, here are five ways that your divorce will make you a better version of yourself.
You value and feel grateful for what you have because you know that nothing lasts forever. The realization that everything is precious and can disappear or be lost at any moment helps you to live fully and authentically.
You know that no one is perfect, and that your humanness is what makes you interesting. You have learned that falling down is equally as important as getting up, and that there is power in healing.
You know your own value and that being married is a socially constructed status that does not equate with your self-worth. You now realize that being married offered you a lifestyle and demographic standing, but true love stands on it’s own.
You have come to realize that your happiness is up to you, and that you can’t depend on someone else to fulfill all of your dreams. You know now that you create your own destiny, and that your future is in your control.
You are learning that you are capable of much more than you expected, and that trusting and honoring your intuition is one of your greatest tools in making good choices.
You could create a scroll listing the many amazing ways this experience has bettered you. The truth is that it’s all in how you see it, and shifting your perspective to one of personal growth instead of personal demise will help you move through this transition with power and grace.
You can follow Dr. Andra Brosh’s blog and website here.
Here’s more about her on youtube.
Has divorce made you better? If so, how?
Share the wisdom you’ve learned.
step parentingit is a sgrugtle every day and we don’t always meet eye to eye on the decisions we makesome times i think just when it is working outit gets even worseit affects us because he thinks I am over minding his decisionsand vise verse so he gets angry i get annoyed that he angrywe kind of just let each other cool off and make the changes necessary to make it work it does make us stronger after its all said and done but it is hard worknot to just say f it i am done with itgood luck