4 absolutely weird places you’ll gain weight once you hit 40.

Fat is now finding new and unfortunate places to hide. Beware. Just so you are aware of what’s down the road, here are 4 absolutely bizarre places you’ll gain weight once you hit 40.

News alert. Fat is smarter these days (just like our kids). Fat is now outsmarting us. It’s lurking in new and creative places on my body. I feel compelled to warn you because this sneaky fat might be hiding in these places on your over 40 body too. At this very moment, you might have a misplaced jiggle and not even know about it.

I didn’t know about some of these soft, fatty places until my teenaged daughter grabbed my forearm and shouted, “Wow mom, you really jiggle here.” Bless her little 13 year old heart. Now I have even more thing to add to my ever growing list of over 40 gripes. 

We all know about the usual places where fat decides to set up residence, watch Netflix  and order pizza;  you know, the spare tire, the area that used to be your waist, those love handles, that funky bra bulge. We know that fat lives there. No surprise. But as a public service I thought I’d also add some other places you need to be on high alert for fat setting up a second home once you’ve hit the age of 40 and beyond.

• Elbow Fat

It’s not fat ON the elbow but fat encircling the wrinkles on your elbow itself. It really helps to draw attention to all that now crepe-y skin in the center. I was blissfully unaware of this newest deposit until I caught an unexpected glimpse of myself in a workout tank top. How to combat: Moisturize and keep your arms bent at a 90 degree angle at all times.

• Earlobe squish

That once smooth transition from my earlobe to my face now has its own vertical line of protective fat. Like a tiny speed bump for ears. How to combat: Wear huge earrings to distract (80’s fashion, thankfully, is back.) Or just try a long curtain of hair in front of your ears. (Why do you think my hair is still long?)

• Bicep Jiggle

I can do bicep curls till the cows come home but there is a new fat wrinkle right above the bend in my arm. And there’s a matching one starting at the top of my forearm. Curls with 20 lb. weights won’t get rid of them. I tried. How to combat? Grow longer arms.

• Foot Fat

I’m not sure what this is but I used to wear a size 7 shoe, then a size 7.5, and now,  swear to God,  there are some 8’s I can wear. Shoes are one of my prime bringers of joy, so please don’t make me size up. How to combat? Do what I do. I just continue to cram my feet into my too tight shoes and hobble. Yes, I’ll probably grow bunions and hammer toes. But when has beauty been about comfort?

• Shoulder Fat

This new fat riding on the shoulders reminds me of Shrek, the happy go lucky green ogre. His shoulder fat is way cuter in a cheery green than my shade of winter white girl pale. What fun! Now my bra bulge has a friend on each side to say hello to!  How to combat: Wear a scarf. And a looser bra.

Spring is here, summer is coming, and these crafty outposts of fat might already be lurking in unique and strange places on you too. They might be waiting for that new sleeveless top or cute ankle straps to make their debut. So be careful. Be vigilant. Over 40 fat is smarter than we ever imagined.

So tell me, where is your stealthy over 40 fat showing up?