3 Surprising Reasons Why I’m Thankful For My Divorce.

It’s Thanksgiving. The time of year when we pause to remember and mark all the things in our life we are thankful for.

I can count so many things this week as I pause to consider what I have to be thankful for. The blessings are way too numerous to count. But one of the things I’m thankful for this year?

I’m thankful for my divorce and the many gifts hidden inside that darkness.

Giving thanks for my divorce

I’m thankful for the friends and family that my divorce has actually brought me closer to.

Sometimes, a difficult situation can bring people together, and my divorce has definitely brought me closer to several friends and family members who reached out during the stress of my divorce. Some had been through a divorce and understood how cut off and alone I felt. Others just sensed that I needed someone.

I’ve reconnected with old friends and the bonds are even stronger because I’ve been so honest and raw about my train wreck of a life.

And I met new people. In real life and online.

I made friends who were in a similar place and bonded over shared concerns of kids, custody and navigating being newly single.

I made friends through my divorce blog, bonding over coffee with other bloggers and shared horror stories of divorce attorneys.

I’m thankful to divorce for teaching me I’m not a wimp.

I used to think that I was weak. I mistook my own kindness and empathy for other people as weakness. Only after soldiering on through divorce. Only after crying all night and wondering if I’d end up living out of the backseat of my Toyota Prius, did I understand the sheer force of my own determination. My own core of steel.

Wimp. No way. Far from it.

Thank you divorce for introducing me to that incredibly strong unshakeable woman who lives within me.

I’m thankful for the unexpected lessons.

I’ve learned so much since my divorce and so many of those lessons were things that I didn’t even know I needed to learn.

I learned how to kill spiders in my daughter’s bedroom.

I learned how to put an IKEA bookcase together.

I learned how to hang curtain rods with my very own drill. (I left way too many holes in the wall on my way to actually drilling the right hole, but the curtains got hung so I’m counting it as a victory.)

I learned how to enjoy sleeping in a bed all alone and not feeling lonely, only blessed.

Remember that haunting song, Thank You by Alanis Morissette?  I’ve always loved that song but I’m not sure I truly understood the lyrics.

Now I can truly understand the thanks hidden in heartache and the honesty of her lyrics.

 

 

Alanis Morrisette, Thank You

How ’bout me not blaming you for everything
How ’bout me enjoying the moment for once
How ’bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How ’bout grieving it all one at a time

Thank you India, thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty, thank you consequence
Thank you, thank you, silence

 

Can you find a way to be thankful for your heartache?

Can you find a lesson somewhere in the end of your relationship?

I’ve learned during my divorce, that you can only see the lesson if you are brave enough to look through the sorrow and the sadness. You can only reach understanding if you are willing to wade through the pain.

Maybe this week especially, see if you can find the lessons to be thankful for that are hidden in your divorce.

xoxo-Rosie

Are you on Pinterest? If you enjoy my blog and my posts about divorce, check out my Pinterest board on Divorce where I’ve stashed a treasure trove of quotes inspiring reminders and articles about that topic.

Divorce Quotes and Wisdom-Pinterest

 

Comments

  1. Kharla Yee says

    I agree with you…. As I was reading this I must say I feel the same way. Thanks… U took my words out of my mouth…

    • says

      Kharla, thank you for visiting. I hope that today you DO feel thankful for all the hard won wisdom and strength we have gained. We are stronger than we ever imagined!

  2. says

    Rosie, thank you for a heart felt read. I’ve felt everything you wrote. We end up being stronger than we ever thought possible, more independent than we believed we could be and the growth just keeps coming. I can’t imagine the woman I would have been if I hadn’t divorced. I just know I wouldn’t want to be her. Thank you for sharing.
    Kimberly XO

    • says

      thanks for your inspiration! we can be so much more than we ever imagined. here’s to all of us reimagining our lives after divorce! so appreciate your kind words.

  3. says

    Yes…so much wonderful growth comes out of divorce, as painful as it is. I’ve learned so much. I haven’t killed a spider yet…but I certainly have put together an IKEA dresser and I love love love sleeping in my bed alone at night. As for out for coffee with other bloggers – I’ve only done that once! 🙂 wink wink.

    • says

      Yes, yes ma’am sista! Sleeping alone in a big bed all to yourself can be kinda awesome. Glad I’m your one and only blogger coffee date!! xoxo

  4. says

    Hi,

    thanks so much for your blog post. I have just stumbled across your blog and I will be back. I split up with my fiance in February this year. We were due to be married in June but I called off the wedding. We have a 15 month old son. Things are tough, like really tough, but I am thankful that I had the strength and courage to call things off rather than continue to try and put a sticky plaster over gaping wounds.

    I am closer to my family than I have ever been and I really know who my friends are. Most importantly I am re-finding myself. That sounds a bit trite, but I quite like myself now. I was turning into someone who I didn’t like in my relationship. My spark was being extinguished. Anyway, I am going to stop spouting metaphors and thank you again for your blog post.

    See you soon

    Pen

    xx

    • says

      So so glad that you found the blog. It sounds like you are in the thick of the pain and mess right now. You have so much courage to call off the wedding, bet most people would have just kept trudging through and go through with it anyways. Bravo lady!! I know what you mean about refinding yourself, we let ourselves become things for others that we forget who we ever were. So glad you are hanging tough!! xo-Rosie

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