Some awesome things you learn about yourself dating again after 40.

Some awesome things you learn dating again after 40.

Dating again over 40? Some things are good, some not so much. But here are the kinda awesome things you do learn about yourself dating again after 40.

Dating over 40

Am I scared about dating over 40? Yes. A big fat hell yes. The last time I was single parachute pants and perms were in.

It has been over 20 years since I went on an actual, real live date with an actual living person. Terrified is a better word for it.

It’s a strange new dating world now. Match, Eharmony, texting, sexting, Facebook, Tinder, and Lord knows what else.

Back in the day, we couldn’t dream of Facebook, email or even cellphones. We were dating in the dark ages. We met people in person the old fashioned way.

At the time, our cutting edge technology was a pager. Remember those? Big black plastic doohickies that you clipped onto your pleated pants. It buzzed and then you had to find a payphone, yes a payphone, to return the call.

I hated dating back then. Dating was torturous for me. It brought up every single doubt I had about myself. It fed all my insecurities. Did he like me? Will he call me?

I felt so flawed, so less than perfect. I remember being a size 2 and obsessing about how fat I was. What a young, silly idiot. A size 2! Only a woman in her 20’s can be so insane to think that a size 2 is fat.Women in their early 20’s are just God perfect. They don’t even have to try. Shiny hair, glossy skin, tiny waisted perfection.

Looking back, I think I was kinda hot. And I squandered it. I squandered all that thick haired, short skirted hotness on worrying.

So now, here I am dating in my forties. The entire dating landscape over 40 is a strange place yes, but I’ve already learned so much.

The tiny waisted thick haired, short skirted hotness is no more. I am so far from perfect.

First there are these things we call wrinkles, and now a lovely appendectomy scar meanders up my abdomen. Freckles and some less than pertness are now part of the me landscape.

What your body might lack your head now contains. Wisdom. Acceptance. Power.

I’m no longer that insecure girl worrying. I have finally learned who I am and what I want in a relationship. And this time, I’m determined not to worry. Take me or leave me. Either way, I’ll be fine.

Yes, the dating world has changed but more importantly, I’ve changed. I’m not a girl, I’m a woman. And this go round I’m not wondering if I measure up.

Flip the question. It’s no longer am I enough to be with you. The question is: Are YOU enough to be with me? 

What have you discovered about dating over 40?

 

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