Should I be embarrassed that I met my boyfriend online?

I’m really lucky. I’ve met an awesomely amazing guy. We met online, on eharmony to be exact. So why should it make me feel embarrassed to tell people that I met my boyfriend online?

should I be ashamed that I met my boyfriend online?

huweijie07170 / Pixabay

It might be my age. Way back in the day, you met people the old fashioned way.  At work, through friends, school or the oh-so-classy way of meeting-at a bar.

The last time I was single there WAS NO internet or online dating sites, so when I separated I wasn’t sure whether or not to go online.

Then I took a look around and realized, LA is not an easy place to be single. It’s a big city with lots of traffic. People are locked behind car windows on the freeway. Impersonal, vast, not a lot of chance encounters.  I realized that unless a single man lived in the crawl space underneath my house and decided to pop out one day, I was probably going to have to go online.

But the whole online dating thing was scary. I felt “loserish”. What if someone that I knew saw me? (Um, so what they are online too?!)

I quickly got over those crazy thoughts and logged on. And I’m so glad that I did. I never ever would have met my boyfriend. We work in very different industries. We live in totally different parts of the city. We would never have bumped into each other at the dry cleaners. I never would have run over his foot with my grocery cart at Vons.

I’d had dates with other men I’d met online. There was a system. Before you met his friends,  you’d always have to make up a story of how you met. Through friends. At Starbucks. At a work event. Not one guy ever suggested to just tell the truth. That we met online. No way.

Until my boyfriend. I was meeting his best friend for the very first time. I was ready to make up “the story” of how we’d met. But then this amazing man replied, “No.” “We met online. I’m proud of you and how we met. Why wouldn’t I tell the truth about that?”

And I realized. He’s right.

Why is there this hidden stigma to online dating? Well I’m done. I refuse. I’m not an online dating apologist. I’m an online dating believer. A hallelujah shouting online dating evangelist. It allows people to find each other across time zones, across cities and countries. It can even help someone like me find an incredible man who lives in another zip code across the wide expanse of Los Angeles. What’s not to love about that?

Are you dating online? Do you tell people about how you’ve met your dates? Or do you make up your meeting story too? Wonder how most people handle this situation.

How about you?

Comments

  1. Ksenona says

    Hi) I met my husband online ( via ) I was nervous on the fist date. I was afraid that he wouldn’t come. But He came. and everything is allright. We are happy 2 years)))

  2. Anne says

    Met my husband online over 18 years ago, in the dark ages of the internet, when it was still heavily text, people were on dialup modems, and way, way before dating sites like eharmony or those things. Digital was relatively new, and stuff took forever to download, so it was more instant electronic pen pal than anything else–words were enough to get to know people by. We’ve been together a lot longer than all of my relatives who’ve met people by “conventional” means. Do I care what people think? Nope. Pretty sure I’m doing OK.

    • says

      Yes I’d say you are doing pretty well! Good for you that you met your husband online. And soooo appreciate you sharing your story of online dating. There are lots of us out there that are doing pretty damn well via online relationships!! Congrats on finding a good one!

  3. TRACEY says

    I met my now-ex boyfriend on eHarmony. We never hid that we meet on eH. It didn’t work out in the long run, but we had a lot of good times and I’d never have met him organically.

  4. says

    Being single for the first time in the digital age definitely is a change from the good old days. It’s like walking into a safari! When I first started dating Miss Madison she still felt the same about the “stigma” of telling everybody she met online.

Trackbacks

  1. […] I wish these two lovebirds well. They seem totally into each other. But isn’t it easy to be totally into someone when you don’t know them well enough yet to see their faults? When you’ve only known them through emojis and clicks?  (And don’t get me wrong, I’m a total fan of meeting people online. Here’s my account of meeting my boyfriend online.) […]

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