I’m officially parenting a teen, and frankly I’m scared.
Well, scared and slightly sickened.
The eye rolling, the crossed arms, the silent stare of death; I’ve gone from “Mommy” to the most stupid humanoid on the planet. This whole teen thing is new in our house but somehow it feels strangely familiar. Why? BECAUSE I REALIZE, I WAS ONCE THAT SAME SELF-INVOLVED KNOW-IT-ALL TEEN. Cringe.
I’m sorry for my teenage girl attitude. I had no idea how completely annoying I was.
Since I can’t actually apologize to the entire planet, here are a few apologies that are way overdue.
1. My father. I’m so sorry that I asked you to drop me off one block away from the school entrance because I was embarrassed to be seen climbing out of that huge land yacht of an automobile you drove. (Of course, 3 years later that didn’t stop me from begging to drive that same said Crown Victoria when I got my driver’s license).
2. My Grandmother. It was not your job to wait on me hand and foot. Cooking, ironing, cleaning. Who did I think I was Princess Diana? Please forgive me. I only wish that I could wait on you.
3. My Stepmother. For all the huffing and comments I muttered under my breath while you were driving. I now understand that adults CAN hear what’s being said in the backseat. Most adults just choose to ignore it. Thank you for not pulling me out of the backseat and tanning my teenage hide right there on the side of the road.
4. All of my teachers from 8-12 Grade. No, you were right. I wasn’t paying attention to your lesson that day on diagramming participles. I was thinking about my hair. I’m sorry.
5. To anyone who came in contact with me from the age of 13-19 (let’s say 23 to be safe). Thank you for NOT actually verbalizing how without a clue I was as I riffed on heady topics like politics, the meaning of life; why you are such a loser because you still wear pleated pants. I’m sorry for making you sit through all that.
If there is any justice or karma in the universe, just know that payback is happening everyday. I’m getting back one hundred percent more teen attitude than I ever gave out.
Karma, and parenting a teen, is a bitch.
OK, your turn. If you could apologize to one person for your teenage attitude, who would it be?