Middle Aged Moms. Why I Should Have Gotten Knocked Up At 20.

Just a few of the many reasons why I’m a moron for being a middle aged mom and not getting knocked up at 20.

Middle aged moms. Reasons why parenting over 40 is challenging.  Is parenting easier when you are younger/

No one warned me. Not one single person pulled me aside to let me know this simple fact. One middle aged mom should have had the guts to tell me the truth. All that time you spent obsessing about yourself in your 20’s? All that time and energy you wasted dating stupid guys and staying out too late? That was supposed to be used for something important. All that energy and time was when nature intended for you to get knocked up.

Why else do you think you had shiny hair and a tiny waist? That was all for show. To make you attractive enough to get some action. Seal the deal. Launch the rocket. Put a bun in your oven. (You see where I’m headed here.)

A few reasons why this middle aged mom shoulda started way earlier.

Numbers Don’t Lie.

I suck at math and so I didn’t add up the numbers. If I’d done some simple arithmetic I would have figured out that when you wait to start a family in your late thirties that means you’ll have a teen entering high school in your fifties. If you’re 36 when they’re in kindergarten, the math starts to get scary. You’ll be awash in grey hair by the time high school starts. Why didn’t I stop to do some basic age forecasting?

Here are several reasons why I so should have gotten knocked up and forgone this whole middle aged mom drama.

More Grandparents To Choose From.

If I’d decided to be a parent in my twenties when God intended, maybe a few more Grandparents would still be around to spoil my daughter and stuff her full of sugary treats. There is no one to send her off to visit during the summer. No Papa to spoil her or teach her to drink Bud Light when the time comes. No one to traumatize her with educational visits to a local slaughter house. (Yes, grandparents can love and/or scar you for life.) But my daughter’s missing out on all that.

More Mental Energy For Important Parenting Decisions.

Know all that stupid stuff you worried about when you were 23? All those non decision decisions? Buy the new Bobby Brown CD or go with Paula Abdul? Lime or Strawberry Jell-O shot?   Your brain was just searching for things to do, because your mind wasn’t be utilized the way nature intended. Your brain was supposed to be fixated on important childcare decisions, not out dancing all night in uncomfortable but cute boots.

If I wasn’t a middle aged mom, maybe I’d be still be room mom. Maybe I wouldn’t have volunteer burn out. Maybe I’d be that woman who heads up every single committee at school instead of the one who shows up late and leaves early.

Less Napping.

My daughter drew me a picture for Mother’s Day. What was my favorite activity listed on the picture she drew of me? Napping. Yes, napping. Some mothers run marathons or save sea turtles. I nap. The much younger me would be setting a good example by getting up early and running several miles before dawn. The younger me probably wouldn’t sit down for a few minutes and end up napping for an hour instead.

There are a few good things I suppose to being a middle aged mom. After half a century on this planet, I suppose I’m more patient than my younger self. I might even be a little more able to survive some parenting disasters without losing my sh#$.

Oh well. Since I didn’t start this whole parenting thing on schedule and get knocked up at 20, my daughter is now stuck with a slightly burned out, midlife mom with creaky knees seeing her off to high school.

Now excuse me while I go take a nap!


  1. says

    I always wanted to be a young mom for the perks of still being young when the kids are growing up. I haven’t managed to get that far, though, as I’ll be turning 25 soon and still no baby…but hopefully the wait won’t be too much longer! I do think there’s perks to getting the baby years over with while you’re younger and have comparatively more energy. 😛 My Mom was 20 when she had my, and all of my grandparents are living and active still–I do appreciate the perks of having a rather young family.

  2. says

    This is great.
    My wife and I are just starting to talk about these things and reading this has given me some great insight.

  3. says

    I actually did have my children in my 20s, and you would have thought I was a teenager by the reaction (even though I had been married for 3 years.) It isn’t really socially acceptable to get married or having children young these days, and yet I really have no regrets. I think there are advantages to parenting at every age… if I had waited, I probably would have been more patient and confident than I was in my 20s.. and certainly would have had more $$!
    Seana Turner recently posted…Headlines from the National Organizing ConferenceMy Profile

  4. says

    I was married at 18 and had two boys before age 20, so I kind of grew up with my kids. It’s hell in the early years when you’re incredibly insecure, inexperienced in life, and generally always broke and eating peanut butter. But now that we’re older (all of us), it’s pretty awesome. My teen is now my gym partner and we’re as close as we can be without it being weird. Okay, it’s weird. But in a good way!
    Rica @Yoga Mat Monkey recently posted…5 Ways to Survive Summer Vacation with TeensMy Profile

  5. says

    Love this! We had trouble conceiving for many, many years. After several failed routes, we were finally blessed with a beautiful baby boy. Almost every single person/couple we know had a child or children at least 10 years or more before we did. So….play dates are almost non-existent since they are much older, but it has taught me to try and meet new moms and couples that have a little one to same age, so we can all enjoy the time – kids and parents. Above all and most importantly, you love her unconditionally. She will always remember that. 🙂

  6. says

    Ha! I definitely got a late start on my kids, and don’t even want to think about how old I’ll be when they are in high school. Napping is definitely one of my favorite hobbies too 🙂

  7. says

    Hey, what a funny in its truth post. I am actually talking about something similar on my site and I love the way you’ve written it.

    I think it’s difficult to predict everything and being a mum second time at almost 35 calls for different decisions and outlooks.
    I think we lose some and gain some and probably gain a lot nonetheless.

    • says

      I do actually believe that we are more patient and smarter and more centered when we parent later in life but yes we are tired!

  8. Heather says

    My stepkid is knocked up at 19 and says, well, I will paraphrase….this is ignorant. No I agree.

  9. says

    I started way too early and most of my friends started way too late. I actually believe we have our children at the time we are supposed to have them.
    For me, I have 13 grandchildren ranging from 6-20. My closest friends have kids between 6 -20.
    Just love your kid and always go with common sense.
    Doreen McGettigan recently posted…Wednesday Wisdom…My Profile

  10. says

    I’m a middle aged mother of three (all under the age of 5), and for me it was the right decision. I hear the point loud and clear about energy levels (and most days I DO wish I had more energy!) but there are so many positives of middle aged parenting that I appreciate: more patience, understanding of self, financial/emotional security, and a greater (at least for me) appreciation of the moments. I think the right answer is different for each family – to have children younger or older – and it is really about assessing what makes sense in specific situations.
    Faye recently posted…Guest Post: Co-Parenting 50/50 – How One Family Makes it Work (Part 1)My Profile

    • says

      Faye, I agree, about being a better parent later in life. All kidding aside, I’m so much more patient and fully formed. Yes, I have way less energy but I also have more wisdom and understanding. You are one brave woman, 3 kiddos all under 5. You are amazing!

  11. says

    Love this! I am an older mom. What I love about being the older mom is that I am very relaxed about so much. On the other hand, I am TIRED faster!!!

  12. says

    This post sounds like me, just like me! I swear I used to be fun, go out have drinks, dance until 2am and still go to work the next day. Now I prefer naps to everything!

  13. says

    Ha ha, so funny! If it makes you feel any better, I UNINTENTIONALLY got pregnant at 23, after less than a year of marriage and in my first yer of grad school. That had its own challenges, but I kept telling myself that one good thing was that I’d likely be a young grandmother. HOWEVER, my daughter didn’t get pregnant until now at age 34. However it happens, there are challenges and benefits and we somehow make it work. So, my grandchildren will find me napping along with them! (And I’ve been practicing daily!)
    Lee Gaitan recently posted…No Free LunchMy Profile

  14. says

    Just as true for us guys. I’m 43 and my daughter starts kindergarten in the fall. There are plenty of days I wonder why I didn’t try this when I had a bit more energy and less aches and pains

  15. Janice scarlett says

    I did it both ways. I had one at 23 and one at 33. My first one was in every kind of group and sport while I was a team mom, a girl scout leader, and on the PTO. We bought all the cute outfits (thank goodness because I sucked at laundry back then and everything was always in the dirty clothes!), all the popular toys and all the school pictures. My second one…well…I’m old. Sometimes he wears the same clothes two days in a row because I’m way better at laundry now and can’t remember squat. He doesn’t really have any toys because he doesn’t know there’s a toy section in Walmart (talk about being wiser when you’re older)! And I can’t keep up with picture day so we usually don’t buy the photos with him wearing a t-shirt that says “Batman Rocks!” I don’t know what I was thinking having a child in my thirties, but he truly completed our family, and I can’t imagine life without him.

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