Why, this year, I’m Overhauling My System of Making New Year’s Resolutions.
For the umpteenth time in my life, I’m waiting for a new year to begin and contemplating what New Year’s resolutions to make. But just about making the same tired resolutions over and over again. Make them. Forget them. Feel crappy. Stay stuck. Next.
Obviously this method is not working. Duh. Otherwise I would not be here making the same resolutions every single December.
What are those resolutions that get made but never change?
LOSE 5 (OR TEN) POUNDS:
Since I was fifteen, I’ve always wanted to be 5 (or 10) pounds thinner. In my dreams, I have a body like Kate Moss. You know twig like, heroin chic, hip bones sharp enough to injure people. Someone who goes for days without eating and doesn’t seem to mind. The kind of person who goes clubbing with celebrities late at night in London. Let’s get real. Never going to be me.
I’m not fat but I’m not twig like either. I’m a six 6 right now. Yes a size 6. Gasp. Or as a mom at school told me the other day, “You have a body with constitution.” Umm, is that a compliment? I don’t think so.
I have a butt, I have thighs. Never going away. No matter what size I shrink to.
Right after I separated I got down to a size 0, but I was pretty much not eating. Not to look good but because I was in a constant state of nauseous agitation. Skinny but definitely not healthy. A diet of Gummy Bears and Balance Bars and a gallon of coffee. I called it the “Divorce Diet.” Here’s my post outlining the particulars on The Divorce Diet. Follow at your own personal peril.
So I’ve given up on my dream of being hauty skinny girl.
Kate Moss, you are gorgeous but my South Arkansas ass will never fit in your teeny skinny jeans my friend. I’m going for fit enough to still fit into my own slim cut jeans.
Now, I just worry about being fit and strong and able to still button most of the things in my closet. Goodbye resolution to lose 10 pounds.
Another resolution I’m not bothering to make:
CLEAN AND CLUTTER FREE HOME.
I read the KonMari method of cleaning up. (You know that best selling Japanese book on organizing.) I get it but don’t know when I’ll have the patience to rip everything out of my closet, put it in the middle of the floor and take stock piece by piece.
I’ve learned who I am. I’m not that organized. But I’m not that messy either. You won’t find me on an upcoming episode of Hoarders, but I’m also not OCD. I’m not obsessed with making color coded labels for every stinkin’ thing in my house. I have plastic bins shoved in my closet with old stuff I don’t want to go through right now. It’s not bothering me. I’d rather drink wine or watch 80’s movies with my daughter. You know, I’ve got more important things to do.
This does mean though that when it comes time to find a checkbook or my Passport, sometimes I do have to spend an hour hunting in the piles on my desk or file cabinet. Yes that kinda blows but I am now somewhat comfortable with that reality.
I’m never going to be my super organized sister. Her linen closet looks like a shoot for Real Simple Magazine. Toilet paper rolls spaced evenly in perfect little rows. Spare towels folded with precise right corners. Color coded. Martha Stewart would weep with organizational joy.
Never going to be me. Sorry.
So once, again I’m embracing who I am. Somewhat neat. Somewhat organized. Somewhat not really giving a shit about it anymore.
That’s what I’m not doing. So this brings me to what I AM going to do:
SET GOALS NOT RESOLUTIONS.
This year instead of resolutions, I’m going to make GOALS. 90 Day Goals to be exact.
I was inspired to change my ways and not set resolutions but to set 90 day goals after listening to a really informative webcast about goal setting from time management guru, Allyson White, author of the 7 Minute Life.
So instead of writing a list of flimsy “resolutions” with no follow up or end date, I’ve downloaded Allyson’s free worksheets and time management tools. Her method is to be really clear and specific.
By setting a 90 day goal, you give yourself a burst of energy to complete the goal. It’s close enough to realize. And you can easily track if your methods are working. The 90 timeline gives you enough time to accomplish it but not so much time that you run out of willpower.
After listening to her webcast, I learned lots of reasons why my previous attempts at goal setting haven’t been that fruitful. Umm, can you say “microgoals”. Yeah, I didn’t have a clue about those either, and apparently these tiny little goals are the key to success. Explains why my “lose 10 pounds goal” crashed and burned over an order of french fries and a beer every chilly January. (Wish I’d known about her whole system a decade or so ago. Think of how much more I could have accomplished!)
So here I am standing in the tail end of 2015, looking expectantly towards 2016, but this year, I’m hoping that by setting “goals” instead of “resolutions”, I might finally be able to make some changes.
Here’s the 7 Minute Life Facebook page.
Are you setting any resolutions this year? If so, what are they?
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