Why I’ll be buying my Ex Husband a Father’s Day gift again this year. And the very important reasons why I’m doing it.
We are in the middle of a not-so-easy-or-nice divorce but I’ll be buying my ex husband a Father’s Day gift again this year. And here’s why.
You see, it’s not for him really. It’s for my daughter. Every year since we’ve been separated I’ve helped her get a gift for her father. We’ve picked out cards and shirts at Target. I’ve sat beside her at the kitchen table as she’s drawn him pictures or made him a Father’s Day card with crayons and markers.
One year, we baked him brownies.
Divorce, especially any sort of holiday, can be confusing for kids. But I want this message to be clear. I want my daughter to learn the importance of recognizing her parents. Of respect. Of kindness. Of caring.
I want to teach her the importance of thinking of others.
This year, I considered NOT helping her buy a Father’s Day gift. (To be totally honest, I more than considered it. I was looking forward to not giving him a gift. It’s been that kind of a year.)
But is that really the way I want to parent? Is this really the lesson I want to teach her?
I think that getting him a gift for Father’s Day is really a gift for three people.
1. My ex husband. He gets a gift from his daughter on Father’s Day.
2. My daughter. She receives the lesson of kindness.
3. Me. I get to feel good knowing that I’ve done the right thing.
So yes, maybe for a split second, I’d love to not be spending my Saturday afternoon at Target for some hectic Father’s Day card shopping, but that’s where I’ll be headed anyway.
Help your children buy your ex husband a Father’s Day gift or card. It’s tough yet, but not impossible to mark Father’s Day after divorce. The gift is not really for your ex husband anyway.
The gift is for them. Father’s Day after divorce can be confusing. The gift is to make this day a little bit better for our kids.
Do you think it’s appropriate to get your ex husband a gift for Father’s Day?