Can you find love on Instagram?

A couple married minutes after meeting in person for the very first time. They’d met on Instagram and fell in “love at first click.” 

is love at first click really a thing?

 

Do you believe in love at first sight? What about love at first click?

This couple wrote poems for each other, posted photos, and I’m guessing Skyped and Facetimed for a year before they finally met. They arranged to get married as soon as he landed at the airport and they shared their first kiss.

I wish these two lovebirds well. They seem totally into each other. But isn’t it easy to be totally into someone when you don’t know them well enough yet to see their faults? When you’ve only known them through emojis and clicks?  (And don’t get me wrong, I’m a total fan of meeting people online. Here’s my account of meeting my boyfriend online.)

 Online love is easy. Real life, living, breathing, communicating love is hard.

After being married for a very long time, I suddenly found myself single and dating again. It was easy to get infatuated with someone you just met. In first-date-short-hand they seem perfect. Anyone can be charming over an hour long lunch.

But I’ve come to realize: first dates and first impressions are like movie trailers. They show you the best parts to try and get you to watch the whole movie.

Whoever said familiarity breeds contempt was obviously married, and probably divorced too. It’s easy to imagine you are in love with a handsome man as you sip wine canoodling in a dark corner. It’s way more difficult to be in love with someone when you realize they’ve got a horrible aim, after you step in their urine driblets all around the toilet every single morning. If you still love them after stepping into that stickiness, if you can have sex with them after that, it might be love.

You see a man online. Something about his photo grabs you. Does he remind you of an old boyfriend? That imaginary “perfect” person you’ve held in your mind since 3rd grade? Something seems to speak to you in his shy smile. You are already creating an impression of who you want, who you expect, this person to be.

But that imaginary person you’ve already prebuilt, is probably not the flesh and bone person who’ll walk in the door when you end up meeting for coffee at Starbucks.

As you spend more time together, the imaginary person you’ve created falls away and the real person is revealed. That’s what you are left with. Can you love this imperfect version?

Going back to the couple that met on Instagram, I hope they prove me wrong. I’d totally love to believe in a magical, angels leaping over rainbows kind of love at first online sight.

But loving someone online is not exactly the same. You get to craft the perfect selfie online. You get to choose the angles and the filter. In real life, there’s no filter. People see who you are. Faults and imperfections. #nofilter.

And online, you get to spend hours creating poetry and artwork to post for your beloved. In real life, you don’t have hours to craft a response. You have to live and show your love in the moment. Real life doesn’t give you the “tools” option to make the picture prettier before you post it. There’s no photoshop in a relationship. You can’t make the picture any prettier than it really is. 

I hope that the happy Instagram couple finds that their Insta-love can make the jump from online to in life. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.

What about you? Do you believe in love at first click or love at first sight? Wondering if anyone has ever fell in love at first sight and actually had that work out in the long run….

And don’t forget to find me on Pinterest. I’m pretty much Pinterest obsessed so I’ve got lots of boards with great pins about divorce, relationships, fashion, health and life over 40. I’m that person surfing Pinterest at 3am. Let’s connect!

Comments

  1. says

    I struggle with this. Clearly as you say these two communicated online for a long time before deciding to get married in real life. But there are loads of guys for sure picking up pretty girls on selfie-obsessed instagram. Which make me feel uncomfortable – and old!

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