Is marriage an old-fashioned custom way past its prime?
I saw this car in a parking lot yesterday. Toilet paper draped, shaving cream letters, a big heart with the new couple’s initials. Hope and joy of happily ever after. A marriage that lasts forever. Till death do us part. But it made me wonder, is happily ever after really possible? Are we just too “enlightened” now to have a happy marriage?
Marriage itself is ancient. It has been happening for thousands of years. In a marriage during the Middle Ages, for instance, the goal was to join two people who would then have a dozen kids they’d put to work doing backbreaking manual labor. Your own happiness, if you were even in love, didn’t matter. What mattered was simple. Could she bear children? Could he work to get food? Procreation and kids-that was the goal.
A successful marriage wasn’t measured by today’s standards. The relationship wasn’t to create a loving space where each spouse could get MBA’s and do Triathlons on the weekends, hell no, if you squirted out some kids, raised them to adulthood and didn’t fall into your tankard of ale, you did well. If in the midst of this, you found satisfaction, good for you, but that was a side benefit. Our ancestors in the middle ages, didn’t worry about finding happiness. They didn’t have to file mountains of paperwork and fight over who got to keep the Nutribullet. They didn’t get divorced, they died.
I wonder if we ask too much from modern marriage. Our mate must be best friend, companion, equal, and favorite sex toy. The marriage has to foster our dreams, fulfill us, and make us a better person. Maybe modern marriage is like an old Toyota truck that we keep loading yard sale junk into the back of. Overload it and finally it won’t move.
Don’t get me wrong. I still want to believe in marriage. I’m only wondering if any relationship, even the best, can live up to the unending expectations we pile on top of this ancient custom in our quest to find happiness.
Now pass me that tankard of ale. A toast to these newlyweds. I hope they find their happily ever after.
Cheers and Ooo la~
yay!!!