4 Really Honest Reasons Why I’ll Never Be Parent of The Year.

4 Really Honest Reasons Why I’ll Never Be Parent of the Year.

I thought I was an OK parent when my daughter was younger. I mean, I wasn’t going to be elected Mother of the Year, but I was at least in the race.

When she was cute and little with squishy cheeks, I happily thought “Yay! I don’t totally suck as a parent!”

And then, in some cosmic trick, she’s suddenly become a teen. And all those cute little parenting tricks I once used just don’t cut it anymore.

The days when I could bribe her with a Dora the Explorer sticker or a popsicle, or get her to clean her room by drawing a smiley face on a chore chart are long gone.

Now, parenting is serious business. The implications are huge. The consequences actually matter. Driving. School. Grades. Dating….Sex. AHHH!
4-reasons why I'll never be parent of the year

So in the interest of full disclosure and transparency, I thought I’d share the top 4 ways that I’m totally sucking at this teen parenting thing.

1. I’m Not Strict Enough.

 I’m way too nice. I cave way too often to her demands. I lack the follow through. I admit it. I get scared. Why? Because I want her to like me. I want her to like me enough in a few years so she’ll come and visit me in The Home when I’m old and immobile.  I want her to bring me chocolate and listen to me babble. 

2. I Forgot to Read that Book About Being A Tiger Mom

Do you remember that book, The Battle Hymn of the  Tiger Mom? The mom, Amy Chua, made her daughter sit at the piano for over 4 hours until the daughter could finally play this one difficult piece of music. 4 hours.

I don’t have the courage to be that much of a mean mommy. Plus, I don’t have the cultural roadmap of being a mean as hell, ass kickin’ Chinese mom.

I’ve realized, even though my daughter might be from China, I’m not a Chinese mom, so at least I have an excuse for not forcing her to sit on a piano bench for 4 hours.

Frankly, my cultural parenting style is Dysfunctional Crazy, Cornbread Southern.

3. Let her spend too much time online.

I know, I know. Her brain is turning to mush. She’s becoming antisocial. But here’s the thing, I’m writing this blog and sitting for hours at my own laptop, so how do I plausibly say don’t be online while I’m slouched over my own computer?

I might be lame but I’m not a hypocrite.

4. And sometimes, I just run out of ideas. 

By the end of the day, I’m out of ideas. She’s gone to school, practice, done her homework. We’ve eaten dinner. She’s taken a shower. What else do I force her to do?

I’ve tried crafts. Family game nights. Sitting and talking (yeah, that went well.)

Sometimes, my mom resolve wears thin and I want to close my door and dive into a glass of Pinot Grigio and my Facebook feed.

I want to lose myself online, the same way she wants to escape to her anime episodes and cat videos.

So, no I won’t be Parent of the Year.

But looking on the bright side, she still loves me, she’s a wonderful young lady and maybe, just maybe she will come to visit me once in a while in The Home.

So, how are you sucking at this parenting game?

Comments

  1. says

    Take it from me – you are doing FINE! She hasn’t been arrested for selling drugs in school – right? You don’t leave her alone for hours on end while you go out drinking and hitting on men (chance would be a fine thing I hear you say!) These really are the hardest years and they are the fastest moving ones too! Suddenly, it will all be over and she will be standing on the edge of the nest flapping her wings. What you are feeling is all normal and you just need to know that you are doing a good job – enjoy these years. Just yesterday I was 40 with two teen-age boys driving me crazy. Now, I am 60 and they both live over two hours drive away ( a big deal in the uk 😀). And I MISS them like crazy. Enjoy. All is as it should be.
    Gilly maddison recently posted…What do Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl and Jay Haughton Have In Common?My Profile

  2. says

    Teenagers don’t want to be caught doing something mom suggested, they want to be their own person and make their own plans. Even if it’s just to watch anime all night long. The key is, she might want to do crafts with you, but it can’t be your idea, it has to be hers.
    Jennifer recently posted…I Did It Out of Sheer TerrorMy Profile

  3. Ashlynn says

    Love it Southern Cornbread girl! Glad to know I’m in good company. Maybe it’s ok and being so rigid only breeds resentful and/or rebellious children. If they function well in school – and I’m talking not just grades, but with teachers and peers, and are held to their commitments and obligations they might just turn out fine. Good people and productive citizens who still visit their Mom well into the
    future.

  4. says

    After raising a daughter myself, I’d say you deserve that honor of being parent of the year. Girls are tough! My son was much easier to handle it seemed, at least for me. Now, that my daughter is a grown ass woman, she realizes just how difficult she made it for me and my hubby but, I wouldn’t change her for the world. Parenting is a tough gig. Remember, there’s no manual for it – not even that tiger mom has it down.

  5. says

    Heh my (almost) 3 year old has been watching TV for three hours straight now while his sister naps. Could I have engaged him in a rousing game of dinosaurs or coloring books? Absolutely. But know what’s even better? Mommy having three hours to catch up with some work and sit in a cozy recliner without a child in my lap. Mom of the year I am not.

  6. says

    I think the Mother of the Year Award is overrated, Rosie. Sounds like you are doing great. I think as mothers we are very hard on ourselves, and we do an amazing job keeping our kids safe and well cared for. When my son was in high school he got a job providing 1:1 supervision for a young child who came from a troubled home. He came home from work, gave me a big hug, and said, ‘Thank you Mom.’ He saw a side of family life he had never been exposed to and realized how blessed he truly was.
    Molly STevens recently posted…Seven real things to fear this HalloweenMy Profile

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