3 reasons why the phrase “I hate my ex” is hurting one person. And that’s only you.
How many times have you said or thought: “I hate my ex”. If you are like most people going through the breakup of a marriage, that phrase comes to mind- a lot. A whole lot. You yell it, scream it at your iphone, chant it through clenched teeth on your morning jog. Hating your ex is really easy, but is it good for you?
Here are 3 super important reasons NOT to hate your ex husband, but don’t worry this is not about him at all. This is about YOU.
1. Hating your ex is a total waste of time.
It’s not productive. Sure it can be fun but just think of all the time and mental energy you’ve poured into that hatred. How many hours have you wasted imagining delicious ways to punish and get back at him? Not a good use of your time. You might have taken a class, or even learned a language with all those hours you’ve wasted despising him. Those nasty thoughts aren’t hurting him. They are only eating away at you. Find another, more productive, way to spend that time and put your focus elsewhere.
2. No one likes a hater.
After a while, being Debbie Downer all the time is going to drive all your friends away. Who wants to listen to you carry on all the time about your horrible ex? You will be needing all the friends and family support you’ve got. Don’t drive them all away by being a human fountain spewing hatred in all directions. It gets old. Fast. Plus, all that boiling anger can actually put you in danger of heart disease.
3. What’s your lesson?
If you’re too busy despising him and picking apart what he did wrong; you aren’t able to examine what you might have done. What part did you play in the death of this relationship? What were your mistakes? Hating him is easy, the hard part is discovering and coming to terms with your own hand in this mess. There is the challenge. If you are too wrapped in your hatred, you might miss this important lesson. Don’t you want to learn from this? Don’t you want to learn something about yourself so you don’t repeat these same mistakes in your next relationship?
Here’s a post with wisdom from real women like you and what they learned by going through divorce.
Use this time and insight to improve yourself for your new life, for your next relationship, but most of all for yourself.
So maybe the next time that phrase “I hate my ex” forms itself in your brain, look past it to see the lessons you can learn about yourself instead. That’s what I’m trying to do. Because I definitely do not want to end up here again.
If you find this post helpful, I do hope you’ll share it with others who are going through divorce too. We are all in this craziness together.
Do you hate your ex?